Questions For Sincerity

On June 8th, 2011 Harold Becker contributed the following questions in an interview with QuestionsForLiving®. This interview focuses on sincerity and offers questions for being sincere with oneself and others.

QuestionsForLiving: What are the questions that you ask yourself for acting and speaking with sincerity?

Harold W. Becker: Genuine sincerity comes when we are being authentic with our truth in each moment through our thought, word, deed and action.  Many strive to be sincere, yet are often simply being agreeable to the standards, traditions, beliefs and social constructs that they are conditioned by, or alternatively, being rebellious to these same cultural standards as a way to make a counter statement while remaining ignorant of their real inner consideration. Sincerity is a quality that naturally reveals itself when we honor our innate truth and live by our inner wisdom.

I realized early on that self reflection and introspection are the beginning points to question my deepest thoughts and feelings about the many suggestions and beliefs I may have accepted as truth from those around me.  I now choose to embrace my world from my unique understanding and evolving perspective and with an open mind and heart, share that with others. I frequently ask myself: 

• “Is this what I believe personally?”

• “Am I acting (or reacting) from learned condition and tradition, or am I expressing myself with actual freedom?” 

• “Are my thoughts and actions an example of my understanding or am I holding back in an effort to be accepted by the opinions of others?”

QFL: What questions could an individual ask him/herself, when trying to encourage others to speak and act sincerely?

HWB: The way to encourage sincerity is by being the example and model first.  One of the greatest challenges we experience in life is expecting (and even attempting to change) others to behave in a way that we may consider acceptable. This is contrary to cultivating sincerity; rather the best gift we can bestow to others is demonstrating sincerity by living our truth with courage, dignity and integrity.

Going within first, we can then ask ourselves questions prior to acting or speaking with others. 

• “Am I allowing others to be who they are with their distinctive view on life or am I wanting them to comply with mine?”  
• “Are my current thoughts and feelings truly in alignment with how I really comprehend life or am I giving in to social conditioning and expectations?” 
• “Is my present perspective a reaction to what is before me, and if so, how can I think/feel differently that more accurately reflects my own understanding?”

QFL: What questions could an individual ask him/herself to ask for truly understanding how, and why, they are feeling a specific way?

HWB: It is vital for one who chooses to be self aware and realize their highest potential that they regularly question the very core of their perception of reality.  Taking time to reflect and contemplate on our innermost thoughts and feelings leads us to sincerity.  The most universal question is “Do I accept myself and acknowledge my views as being right and appropriate for me?” In daily circumstances: 

• “How do I really feel and think about this situation or challenge, am I being reactive or proactive?

• “Am I being honest with myself and therefore, those around me?”

QFL: Generally speaking, not limited to the topic of sincerity alone, what questions do you believe that people should/could ask themselves to make our world a happier and healthier place?

HWB:To create a happier and healthier world, we begin right where we are by going within and accepting and embracing who we are – this unconditional love and acceptance for ourselves forms the basis to inspire others and bring about sincere and lasting change in the world. The most fundamental questions are: 

• “Do I love myself unconditionally?”

• “If not, what is it about me that I do not accept and what perspective or belief must I forgive/release that will allow me to love myself without condition?”

Another valuable question to ask ourselves, especially when engaged in challenge or conflict with someone or something “Am I striving to be right or happy?”. Similarly, “Am I allowing others to be who they are, or am I demanding them to behave according to some image I expect?” And for ourselves, “Am I honoring and expressing my deepest truth as I presently understand it, even though it may not be in agreement with those around me?”

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